franked; franking; franks
Mr. Postmaster General Louis DeJoy,
I would ordinarily send you a physical letter via the dignified USPS, but since you have taken over the reins there is no knowing whether a letter will reach its destination. In fact, I have just decided to send you this same message by letter as well. If you should receive it, please frame it and put it next to your other accomplishments, otherwise print this email and put it somewhere on your ambitions board. If you do not have such a board I suggest making one. Students have been shown to benefit greatly from it.
It is my great misfortune to be the bearer of a complaint. As a former employee of the USPS, I am aware of all the factors that might result in a misdelivery. Had a poorly packaged parcel to an unknown addressee with a return address to a vacant house gone missing, I would find the USPS faultless. Such things happen. But when someone sends a letter from one of the USPS’s own post offices, from one of their own service counters, with their own tracking service, using something proudly called “First-Class Mail,” and requesting—it being a rainy day—that they tape over both the address and the seal of the envelope, and that this letter goes missing, than I find the postal service guilty. And I find you, as its Postmaster General, guilty.
Of the thousands of despicable politicians around the world that we hear about, many censor the media, imprison the innocent, start wars, even lead genocides. Despite all these horrible things I have yet to hear of one who’s made it their goal to sabotage the postal service. I have yet to hear of one who feels that letters from mother to son, from brother to sister, from friend to friend, from lover to lover, that these paper pieces of affection, these ink stains of hope, are not deserving of the highest quality of service in getting them safely to their destination. Had you been appointed Chief of Staff of the US Army and decided to run it into the ground, I would be able to think up some moral reasoning on your behalf. But the post office? Even if you are against vote-by-mail, even if you are in favor of a privatized and corporate postal service, you could have at least expressed these opinions with dignity. Had you run the postal service well, had you cared about the honorable title of Postmaster, maybe many more would be in agreement with you.
Back in the day, postmasters would strengthen the postal service. If they abused their position, it was in overuse of their franking privileges—their right to send mail freely. You abuse yours by making our privilege to send mail useless. And so, like franked mail, you may go freely. Resign and we will all think better of you. Wait until you are dismissed, and you won’t be just a blip in the history of the USPS and its Postmasters, but an eternal example of the undignified incompetence they abhor.
I hope you find an interesting hobby.
"Franking DeJoy is a adrenaline filled movement that both protests and supports in one combined effort. It is bringing postal employees and postal customers together. It uses the language of the USPS to protest its own upper managament. In short, it has the potential to be very effective.
Everytime I see a Frank DeJoy stamped letter I get this horrible feeling in my gut. I feel ashamed. And yet I recall my stamp collection I had as a lad. How proudly I carried it around, tight against my chest! How I would wait for hours by the window for the letter carrrier to arrive! My eyes get moist. I haven't sent a letter in years. Do you still lick stamps? I'm so pathetic! What am I doing? Why am I destroying the beautiful postal service? Am I truly a monster? Perhaps I should go." —Frank Louis DeJoy